By Spencer Posey, LMFT #141641, with a clinical focus on EMDR and betrayal trauma.
Trauma has a way of staying in the body long after the event has passed. A sound, a smell, or an ordinary Tuesday can bring a memory rushing back as if it happened yesterday. EMDR therapy was designed for exactly this problem. At Landmark Christian Counseling in Westlake Village, we offer EMDR to trauma survivors across the Conejo Valley and the wider Ventura County area, and this guide explains what it is, how it works, and how to tell whether it may be a fit for you.
What is EMDR therapy?
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a structured therapy developed by Francine Shapiro in the late 1980s. It helps people process traumatic memories using bilateral stimulation, often guided eye movements, while briefly holding the memory in mind. Many people find that distressing memories gradually lose their intensity and become easier to live with.
Shapiro developed the approach after noticing that certain eye movements seemed to reduce the intensity of her own distressing thoughts. Decades of clinical use and study have followed, and EMDR is now widely used for post-traumatic stress. In a session, you hold a difficult memory lightly in mind while following a back-and-forth cue, such as the therapist's fingers moving across your field of vision, alternating tones, or gentle taps. Over repeated sets, many people notice the memory beginning to lose its sharp edges.
How does EMDR help the brain heal?
The brain usually files daily experiences away as ordinary memory. During overwhelming events, that filing process can get interrupted, leaving the memory stored with its original images, emotions, and body sensations. EMDR appears to restart that processing, so the memory can settle into the past where it belongs. Many people describe feeling lighter afterward.
Researchers continue to study exactly why bilateral stimulation helps. What matters practically is what clients tend to report: the memory stays, the facts stay, and the overwhelming charge attached to them fades. A survivor might still recall an accident or an assault clearly while noticing that their body stays calm as they do. That shift, from reliving to remembering, is the heart of what EMDR aims for, and it is why the approach can be worth considering when talking about a memory has left it untouched.
What happens in an EMDR session?
EMDR follows a structured eight-phase protocol. Early sessions cover your history and teach calming skills so you feel steady before any memory work begins. Later phases involve brief, guided attention to a target memory, paired with bilateral stimulation, followed by grounding and review. Your therapist moves at your pace through every phase.
The eight phases begin long before any reprocessing. History-taking helps us understand your story and choose targets carefully. Preparation builds grounding and self-calming skills, so you have reliable ways to settle yourself before, during, and between sessions. Only when that foundation is in place does the memory work begin, in short structured sets with frequent check-ins. Each session closes with grounding, and each new one opens by reviewing what has shifted.
One relief for many clients: EMDR asks for far less talking than traditional talk therapy. You can move through the work with only a few words about what you are noticing, and the process still moves forward.
What kinds of trauma can EMDR address?
EMDR was developed for post-traumatic stress and is often used for single-incident trauma such as accidents, assaults, medical emergencies, and sudden loss. It can also help with longer-standing wounds, including childhood experiences and painful memories that resurface in adult relationships. A careful assessment helps determine whether EMDR fits your situation and history.
In our Westlake Village practice, we also see how betrayal wounds respond to this work. Discovering a partner's affair can leave images and moments that replay with unusual force, and EMDR is one avenue that can help those memories loosen their grip. Because betrayal trauma is one of our specialties, we often pair EMDR with steady, paced support for that specific kind of hurt. EMDR remains one tool among several, and it works best inside a thoughtful overall treatment plan.
How long does EMDR take?
Timelines vary with the person and the history. Some people working on a single distressing event notice meaningful shifts within a handful of reprocessing sessions. Complex or repeated trauma usually takes longer, and the preparation phase deserves unhurried attention. We would rather build a steady foundation than rush a process your nervous system needs to trust.
Most clients attend weekly, and we review progress together as we go. Every history is different, so we avoid promising fixed timelines. What we can offer is a careful, paced process and honest conversation at every stage about how the work is going and what remains.
How do we approach EMDR at Landmark Christian Counseling?
We offer EMDR in Westlake Village and through telehealth anywhere in California, so clients across Ventura County and the Conejo Valley can keep sessions consistent. For clients who want it, faith can be woven into the work, with themes of hope and restoration alongside the clinical protocol. Clients of every background are welcome here.
Trauma can shake more than the nervous system. It can shake what a person believes about God, safety, and themselves. When clients ask for it, we make room for prayer and for honest wrestling, and we hold those questions with care rather than easy answers. When clients prefer a fully clinical focus, we honor that completely.
If you are in immediate crisis, call or text 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, for free and confidential support at any hour. For everything else, reaching out to ask questions is a reasonable first step, and it commits you to nothing.
Common questions
Does EMDR erase memories?
EMDR leaves your memory intact. The goal is for the memory to lose its present-tense intensity, so you can recall the event without your body reacting as if it is happening again. Most people describe remembering with more distance and less pain, while the facts of their story stay fully available to them.
Do I have to talk about the trauma in detail?
EMDR requires far less narration than many people expect. You identify a target memory with your therapist, then notice what comes up during brief sets of bilateral stimulation. A few words about what you are experiencing is usually enough. Many clients find this one of the most manageable parts of the process.
Can EMDR be done over telehealth?
Yes. California allows licensed therapists to see clients by video anywhere in the state, and EMDR adapts well to that format using visual or self-administered bilateral stimulation. We help each client set up a private, comfortable space at home. Many people find online sessions easier to keep consistent around work and family schedules.
Will faith be part of my EMDR sessions?
Only if you want it to be. Some clients ask us to bring prayer or scripture into the work, and we do that gladly and carefully. Others prefer a strictly clinical approach, and we honor that without question. Your beliefs, whatever they are, will be treated with respect at every step.
Spencer Posey, LMFT #141641 | Landmark Christian Counseling | https://landmarkchristiancounseling.com
This content is for educational purposes only and does not constitute therapy or a therapeutic relationship.